I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. A lot, ok? What I’m about to talk about is a direct reference to myself. However, I don’t think that this will be in vain because I know that I’m not alone here. Hopefully you will be mature enough, ladies, to receive this.
Crabby. Argumentative. Thin-skinned. Bad-tempered. Huffy. Snappy. What do these words have in common? They’re all synonyms for the word “quarrelsome”.
Did you know that in Proverbs, it mentions a “quarrelsome wife” four times?! Four!! And not even in the same chapter. I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s kind of a big deal. (I said that in my Ron Burgundy voice, by the way. If you don’t know who that is, stop what you’re doing and go watch Anchorman. Wait, finish reading this first and then go watch it.)
Sorry. Back to the topic at hand. Go read these scriptures yourself.
Proverbs 19:13, 21:9, 25:24, 27:15
It even goes as far as to say your husband is better off living on the corner of the ROOF than putting up with and listening to our crap!!
Are you a quarrelsome wife?
I know I was. Not in a way that I liked to fight, per se, but I certainly wasn’t happy a lot. Which is totally out of character for me. I’ll save that for some other time.
Men and women are totally different. But you already know that. I’m going to give you a personal example of how different me and my husband are. I’m a very energetic, like-to-get-it-done-now person. My hubby, on the other hand, not so much. He likes to take his time. We are equal in that we like to get things done, but toooooootally different on how we approach things. For instance:
I walk into the kitchen and see that the trash needs to go out. But I don’t say anything to him, because I assume he will see it and take it out. Now, I could ask him and he would do it immediately, but I don’t ask him because I don’t want to be a “nag”. You feel me? So instead of asking him to do it, I walk around ticked that he hasn’t done it. I just want him to want to take the trash out, ya know?! But realistically, who wants to take the dang trash out? Freaks. That’s who. I know what you’re thinking. I’m the freak for not asking, for getting ,mad because he’s not a mind-reader. Yes! Did you know that neither men nor women were mind-readers? Sheesh!! Marriage is like one big freak show.
One of the things I love the most about my husband is his huge…heart. His heart, y’all. Get your mind out of the gutter!!! And what comes with his huge heart, is how much he enjoys making me happy. I’m really blessed y’all. Let me give you an example.
Used to, I would take a shower, get myself ready, get the kids ready. You know how those things go. A nightmare, usually. I would get out of the shower and see that my huge-hearted husband would be sitting in the chair and the kids would still be in their jammies. I would go so frustrated because I felt like he should read my mind and get the kids ready. Or at least see them and think, “hey! they need to be dressed!” Well, I finally got tired of his inability to read my mind and just told him much it would help me and how much easier it would make our mornings if he could have them dressed by the time I got out. Well, guess what happened? He did it, happily. In turn I was happy, he was happy, everyone was happy!!! Ok, I’ll stop. But seriously. That was all it took. Now I can bank on it, every time I’m in the shower, he’s getting the kids dressed. Harmony. Communication is a beautiful thing. You should try it with your spouse tonight!! Right now!! I promise the end result will be better than your hubby living on the roof. Don’t put him through that!
So what does this have to do with being quarrelsome? Well, are you silently resenting your husband (or wife) for the things they’re not doing? Is your husband happy to come home to you after work? Or does he dread it? I’m not saying life is always peachy and we should walk around with a perma-grin. But try it. Go ahead! Take a selfie with your perma-grin and post it on Instagram. I wanna see it. @jnicholson08. Tag me.
God showed me many ways that I needed to change the way I treated my husband. It was right when I was trying to fall asleep too. He always gets me then! I joke a lot, but this is a very serious thing. I know that I don’t sound like the modern woman, but I really don’t care. I’m very capable. I just know the order of the family. Which, by the way, is my next blog. really focusing on how wives should submit to their husbands. If you don’t like me now, you certainly won’t like me when you read that one!!
Let’s answer our hubbies in gentleness. It turns away wrath! I’m a work-in-progress. I’m still learning. But the cool thing is that God showed me. He will show you too. And then work on you. Watch your hunnie’s jaw drop. He’ll think you were abducted and replaced with an alien wife. It’s kind of fun, really. Heeheehee. Keeps them on their toes!!