You know it’s God when the peace is there, but not the logic


Well, it’s done. Me and the girl are going up the mountain and me and the girl will return.

When God makes you a promise, you really have no idea when it will be fulfilled (unless He tells you specifically). But in the meantime, you must trust Him daily.

If you don’t know, I have just recently finished my court trial over custody for my 7 year old daughter. It took 8 months of waiting, 4 days of trial, 27 days for an answer, and a 30 second phone call for my world to come crashing down. The judge ruled in her dad’s favor. As I was sitting, looking over the order she had written, I was in shock and disbelief. She says in the order that I am a GREAT and NURTURING mother. But that I shouldn’t have baptized her at the age of 6 because she didn’t understand what it meant. Bella could out-preach half the pastors I know. She knows what it means and how significant it is. Because of 3 things, I lose. I lose my legal rights. I lose any say-so in her upbringing, extra-curricular activities. Where she goes to school. I. Lose. I’m sure you’re wondering what these reasons could be, what did I do that was so bad that she stripped me of everything. Well I’ll tell you.
1.) She missed 10 days of school, 7 that were unexcused, while she was with me.
2.) Because my husband works out of town, leaving me with 3 children by myself, which takes away from one-on-one time with her.
3.) I threw away an antibiotic that was giving her diarrhea.
Because of these 3 things, the judge decided that Bella’s father was more stable and able to take better care of her. Shocked? Yes. I was too. As I’m reading this, I was crying harder than I’ve ever cried in my life. In fact, the next morning I look like I’ve been in a boxing match. I love my children so much. I’ve made sacrifices for them, just like any mother does. There are moms out there who allow their kids to live in homes with meth labs in the basement, crack houses. There are moms who physically, sexually and mentally abuse their children, yet they still have custody of them. How could this have happened to me??

Of course my flesh wanted to fight and appeal. And that’s exactly what we did. I told my attorney, “Whatever it takes, whatever the cost.” But God had other plans for me and Bella. You see, when she was 4 years old, God told me, in an altar, “If you give her to me, I will give her back to you.” Ok God! Cool! She’s yours!!! After court was over, He said, “Ok now really give her to me and I’ll give her back to you.”

I don’t know what that looks like. I’m at God’s mercy and on His timetable. But He told me not to fight. “Let me perform this spiritual surgery on her, and you cannot be a part of it.” He kept reminding me of the scripture in Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” I mean, I would see this everywhere, in the most random places!!

This is the prequel to my last post. Those were all the things God used to reassure me.

So for now, I get to see my daughter, the one I carried in my womb for 9 months, the baby I swore was a boy but cried when I found out she was a girl (because that’s what I wanted), the one I named, the one I woke up with all night to breast feed, the one I rocked constantly because of colic, every 2nd and 4th weekend of the month. And whenever her father is gracious and kind enough to allow me to see her more.

Radical obedience produces radical blessings. God made me a promise and God does not lie. So until the day that promise is fulfilled, I will be seeking and crying out to Him daily because “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalm 51:17)

I now will be fattening the calf for when the prodigal daughter returns.


There’s freedom in obedience


Have you ever been asked to do something for someone that made absolutely no sense at all? If it was someone you didn’t know, the answer would most likely be, “no way!”. But what if it was someone you trusted? Would you still be skeptical? Maybe try to find a way out of it?

But what if it was God? God has asked people in the bible to do some pretty outrageous things. At the time, they made no sense at all.

Take Noah for example. He was told to build an ark in the midst of drought (see Genesis 6:13-16). People mocked him, right up until they were consumed by flood waters. But God spared Noah because he was OBEDIENT. (See Genesis 7:1)

Now let’s look at Abraham. God promised him a son (see Genesis 4:5) that would fulfill God’s original promise to Abraham (see Genesis 18:10) that he would be the father of many nations, though this son we know as Isaac.
Then, God told Abraham to take Isaac up to the mountain and sacrifice him!!! (See Genesis 22:1-2) I’ve always wondered what went through Abraham’s head. Like, “God, did I hear you correctly? Did I miss you somehow?!” Or was it like, “God, you promised me through this boy that I would be the father of many nations….” Maybe even “Am I being punk’d right now? Where’s Ashton??” Ok probably not the last one. But regardless of what he was thinking, he obeyed the Lord. And you know what? God spared Isaac and fulfilled His promise to Abraham because of his obedience.

That brings me to disobedience with Adam and Eve. They disobeyed God (see Genesis 2:17 and 3:6) so badly, that the only way it could be fixed was through our sacrificial savior, Jesus Christ. Hallelujah to the lamb!!!

The Israelites wandered for 40 years for their disobedience!!! (See Numbers 14:34, 41-42)

Do I even need to mention Jonah?!

So now to my point.

It might seem crazy. It might not make any sense. It might be the most painful sacrifice you’ll ever have to make. But as we saw with Noah and Abraham, with radical obedience comes radical blessings. God was testing Abraham. He passed with flying colors. Where do you stand?

Now is the time to put your fingers in your ears, stop talking to your friends about it and get on your face before God because He will be the only one that will bring you comfort when you radically obey. Yes it’s going to hurt. But Paul tells us in James 1:2-3 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know your faith develops perseverance.”

Now sit back and watch God’s glory radiate in your life, because of your radical obedience.

The following post is for adults only! If you are easily offended, this is not for you.

First off, let me just say that the following post is my opinion. Not the final say, not a doctor’s advice. Nothing. Just me. If you are easily offended, you should stop reading now. Also, let me just go ahead and say that my husband doesn’t have a porn-addiction problem. I know how rumors can get started.

Why is talking about sex so taboo in the church? God created it for our pleasure and enjoyment within our marriage. But no one ever really talks about it in a positive light. All we hear is “Don’t do it until you’re married.” Hmmm.

Pornography is a problem. Right?? 59% of MARRIED CHRISTIAN men look at porn!!! I don’t know about you, but that’s shocking to me. That means that there’s a chance that your husband (yes, yours!) is looking at pornographic magazines, watching pornographic movies or fantasizing about someone other than you. Is your man to blame? Yes, of course he is. In Ephesians 5:25, MSG, it says “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting.” I interpret that in many different ways. Jesus would never cheat on us. When you’re looking at porn, you are cheating on your spouse!!!!

Now here’s the part where you might not like what I have to say….Are we, as wives, to blame for our husband’s porn addiction?

That’s a hard question to take in. But chew on it for a moment.

Colossians 3:18, MSG, says “Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.” Did you hear that? Support. Understand. Nowhere does it say nag, complain about what you don’t have, degrade or boss him around! We are to honor our husbands. Build them up. Encourage them. Love them.

So now let’s talk about how we can do this. Real talk. No filter. Ok?

Guys are simple. They can be like cavemen at times. You know that you get tired of putting the toilet seat down/washing their underwear or whatever other menial task we loving wives do to take care of our man. So I’m sure the last thing on your mind, most days, is sex.

Now, I’m not a guy. But if I had to guess one of the reasons guys look at porn, it would have to boredom/unsatisfying sex life. Yes, bored and unsatisfied with us. Bored with our ponytails, the 10+ extra pounds we’ve gained over the years, our ugly bathrobes and hello kitty house slippers, and our not-at-all-sexy flannel pajamas. It’s like he’s living with his little sister!! I dare you to throw those pajamas away. In fact, burn them. Go to Victoria’s Secret and buy something lacey, racy and sexy! Go to the gym. Lost that weight. No, for real this time. Exercise is also very good for your sex drive so not only will you gain confidence as you lose weight but it also increases your testosterone (you won’t grow a beard) which, as we know, makes our husband’s sex drive quite larger than ours. Fix your hair. Wear your eyeliner the ways he likes it. Yes, my husband notices those things. Dig down deep and find your inner pin-up girl!

Now for the graphic part. Again, if you’re easily offended, now would be the time to stop reading.

The Bible is clear on one thing. Sex between a husband and wife is hot. Read Song of Solomon. Ask your husband to read it to you and watch what happens. It’s dope y’all.

Hebrews 13:4, MSG, says “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.” In other words, try any position your husband requests. Stop worrying about your butt/thighs/belly/whatever. Seriously! Try role-playing. Don’t wait on him to show an interest in sex. Jump him as soon as he gets home from work. Surprise him in the shower. Get in with him!!! Try not saying no for a whole month and watch your man glow.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5, MSG, says “The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality-the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve each other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissable for a period of time if you both agree to do it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting-but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenius way of tempting us when we least expect it.”

So in other words, if you’re so busy saying yes all the time, will he have much free time to look at porn? Probably not!!

Another thing. Oral sex. Just do it. If you don’t enjoy it, see above scripture. If you don’t know how, ask him. I promise he’ll be more than happy to give you direction.

Am I saying to be a doormat/sex slave to your husband? To do things your totally against? No. Colossians 3:19, MSG, says “Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.” That’s pretty clear.

So step out of your comfort/lazy zone. Yes, we all get lazy. You will get amazing results. Now go! Go get your husband!!